Let Me Go
by EmeraldChick
Summary: When Sam goes off the deep end, Billy looks to Carlisle for help. Carlisle does not know how to handle this, so he calls his niece, Sierenna Ricci, who studied under BF Skinner during the 1940s. Can she save Sam from himself? Rated T for suicide attempt, self harm, and language. Warnings are updated by chapter
1. Chapter 1: Emergency

Chapter 1: Emergency

WC: 1276

I woke up to the sound of my alarm at 7 o'clock on a Saturday morning. "Wait," I thought to myself "Why, do I have an alarm on a Saturday?" Then I started listening to the words on my phone.

"...And honestly, my life would suck without you."

I jumped out of bed, and ran to my phone. If Carlisle was calling me it was important. I picked up the phone and slid my thumb across to answer it.

"Ciao Zio. Buongiorno," I said.

"Ciao Bellissimo. I need your help!" Carlisle said breathlessly.

"Anything," I promised.

"Do you remember Ephraim Black?" he asked.

I smiled, "Yes, and I remember Levi Uley vividly."

"Oh good," he breathed, which was weird. When Carlisle breathed, he was feigning humanism, but I knew Carlisle was a vampire, and he did pretend with me. "That saves us a step. I need you in Forks, Washington. Well La Push, Washington as soon as you are able. Its an emergency."

La Push. That was the beautiful land held by the Black pact, the Quileute tribe. I loved that land it was so rich with beauty and the tribe was so rich in culture. Levi was one of the first men to accept me as I was, until he met that Longtree girl and imprinted, of course. I swallowed back the pain that still caused me.

"Why Zio, What happened?" I asked. I had not been to La Push for four generations. There was nothing there for me now.

"A young werewolf hurt himself," Carlisle said.

Panic coursed through my body. I knew the pain that becoming a werewolf could bring. It could drive someone to the edge, and the La Push pack phased so young. "No!" I yelled. "Who? Ephraim's heir?"

"No... Levi's," he said.

A snarl ripped through me that bounced off the wall. There was banging from the apartment next door.

"Sta 'zitto" screamed my neighbor. I rolled my eyes. They were plenty noisy last night, I can have my say now.

"No!" I screamed back.

"No?" whispered Carlisle. "Sierenna, I am in over my head here I can't-"

"Oh Tio, no I wasn't talking to you. I woke up a neighbor, not that I care," I said. "Of course, Of course I will come."

I punched the speaker button and dropped the phone. Then I flew to my laptop and googled flights to Seattle, Washington. United Way had one. Well it had a flight to Newark, New Jersey, where I could get a flight to Seattle.

"I can be in Forks this time tomorrow if you can pick me up from the airport," I said.

"I can't pick you up. I'm needed at La Push, but Edward can," he said through the speaker phone.

"Okay. Wait!" I said. Then I started thinking to myself. The Cullens have gifts like I do. Not exactly like mine, but close. Edward's mind reading would be more useful around the wolf, to hear if he was planning something again. Also, there was Jasper's weird mood control. Yes, that would come in handy. Finally I asked, "William is allowing vampires in La Push?"

"For this yes," Carlisle said.

"Then let's use our gifts. Take Edward and Jasper to La Push. Send one of the girls to pick me up, Alice, 'cause she will drive fast."

"Alright, I will have Alice pick you up. What gate are you at?"

"Don't know. Hang on!"

I flew to the computer and started punching in numbers. It took a few minutes for me to find the flight information. "Gate 12," I said. With my order in, I went to start packing for my trip in a black book bag. Just the basics to fly overseas. Laptop, chargers, money, and a change of clothes for the layover. I would stay with Carlisle once I got there and buy the rest of my wardrobe in Forks. Hell, Alice will be dying for an excuse for a shopping trip anyway.

"Alright, I will send Alice," he said.

"Carlisle is the boy well enough to speak?" I asked

"No, he is unconscious, but William Black is here."

"Let me speak to him."

I took the phone off of speaker and put it to my ear. It was quiet on the phone a minute. I heard Carlisle call William's nickname, Billy, and then there was shuffling. Finally, a tired voice said "hello."

"William, this is Sierenna Ricci. Can you hear me?"

"Yes," came the anxious voice.

"He is going to be alright, William. I promise. Carlisle is the best I know. I am coming too, I can help him okay. He is going to be fine," I said.

"Okay."

By then I had all of my stuff packed, and I shrugged the duffle bag on my shoulder. I started towards the door. "I am leaving now, and I will be there soon. Listen I want Edward and Jasper to be with the boy until I get there. Edward can hear the his thoughts and see if he is going to try something again. Jasper can be there to calm him down if need be. I know you don't want them on your land, but this is an emergency!"

"Of course," Billy said. "Damn the treaty right now. Bring whoever you want."

I smiled. Once outside, I flagged a taxi. I threw my stuff in the back seat and told the driver "aeroporto".

"He is going to be okay, William," I said into the phone. "I promise. Have I ever lied to you?"

"No," Billy said.

"Then I won't start now," I said. "I will be there soon. Okay. Listen, Carlisle will have to keep the boy safe until I get there. He might have to be sedated. We are not trying to hurt him. I need you to trust me."

"I trust you, Sierenna."

"Okay, give me back to Carlisle."

The phone shuffled again. By then the taxi was weaving in and out of traffic slowly. I reached into my purse and grabbed about a hundred dollars worth of euros. "Più veloce" I said, throwing the cash at him. He picked it up, and the car lurched forward.

"I'm here," said Carlisle.

"All right. Tell me what you know. Start from the beginning."

"I got a call this morning from a boy named Paul Lahote, he is one of the wolves here. He said Sam was bleeding and they could not stop it, so I ran there with my bag. When I got there Paul had Sam in a headlock while another one was trying to get the knife away from him. I gave him a dose of ketamine, and he struggled but was sluggish. We got the knife away from him and got him on the couch. He started to pass out, and I began cleaning the wounds. Once they were bandaged up we called Billy Black. His son brought him here, and I told Billy about your background in Psychology. We agreed it was time to call you."

I struggled to fight back the tears as I pictured Levi Uley's face going through whatever this Sam was going through.

"Alright," I said choking, then cleared my throat. "Right, you did good. Check his blood pressure and pulse every fifteen minutes and let him sleep it off. Get anything sharp or breakable out of the room. When he wakes up, keep him on the couch. Let him drink some water, and take his blood pressure and pulse again. If he is stable, call me. If he tries something, sedate him, then call me."

"I will Sierenna. Thank you." He hung up.

I put the phone down and stared out my window. "Damn it!" I thought as a tear rolled down my cheek.


	2. Chapter 2: Cramming

Chapter 2: Cramming

WC: 951

I touched down in Seattle around 3 pm and, just as planned, Alice met me at the gate. After we gave each other a quick hug, we started walking towards the parking deck. As we walked in silence, I began thinking about my new client. I wanted to ask Alice for some information and I turned to her, but stopped when I saw her eyes sizing me up.

"What?" I asked.

"You live in Rome," she said wide eyed. "You have Italian designers at your fingertips and your entire wardrobe consists of sweatpants and workout clothes."

I looked down at what I was wearing. I was still in my pajamas from the night before Carlisle called, a Harvard T-shirt and gray sweatpants. "No one dresses up to go on a plane ride unless they're business men or you," I said indignantly. "Besides I figured you would want a shopping trip in Seattle while I'm here."

"Your going to let me take you shopping?!" she asked excitedly.

"Will I hear the end of it if I don't?"

"Nope!"

I sighed. "Figured."

We combed our way through customs. It was slow, and I could feel my anger building. I was needed elsewhere. My mind wandered to my new client, and I prayed to God he was alright. I checked my phone again, and there was still no word from Carlisle.

"Be patient," Alice said. "We are going straight there."

I huffed and nodded. We finally made our way through and headed toward the parking deck. I followed Alice as she headed towards a bright yellow Porsche parked diagonally across two spaces. She climbed into the front seat as I dropped my bag in the back home and climbed into shotgun.

Alice cranked the ignition and we shot out of the parking space. We flew through the parking garage, and onto the street. But there was a wreck causing a delay, so Alice slowed down. As we crawled through the city, I was screaming internally. The kid was going to have to be sedated again if we did not get there soon.

"Relax, we will get there. I can't control the traffic," Alice said.

"Yeah I know," I said, trying to calm myself. I reached around to my purse and pulled out my phone. I open the open the notebook app, and typed the date at the top. Might as well start working as much as I can. "So what can you tell me about the kid?"

"Well," she started. "His name is Sam Uley. He is the son of Joshua Uley, and the great grandson of Levi Uley. He's nineteen, and graduated high school two years ago in May. Edward said he started phasing sometime during the spring of his senior year. Somehow, Billy and the council found out that he was a werewolf and they began to explain to him what all that meant-"

"How did they find out. Did he tell them?"

"I don't know, but I don't think he told them. Edward said that history is really dark in his mind and he doesn't think about it much."

I nodded as I was typing furiously on my little keyboard.

"He broke up with his previous girlfriend, Leah, because it was too dangerous. She was human at the time."

"Wait. Was?" I asked.

"Yeah she became one of them when her father, Harry Clearwater, died." She paused for a minute. "Sorry. Carlisle said to break that to you gently."

"It's okay," I told her, swallowing a lump in my throat. "Billy told me when it happened. I could not come to the funeral because of complications. I do not know his wife, Sue, is it?"

She nodded.

"Or his kids, so there was no point in coming. I mourned privately," I finished. "So Harry's kid is a werewolf?"

"Yeah both of them. The girl and the fifteen year old boy, Seth."

"Jesus," I whispered.

"Anyway," she continued. "The council told Sam to keep the fact he was a werewolf a secret. He could not tell anyone. Then two other boys phased, Jared and Paul, and Sam was there for them. He became the alpha the pack. Then he met and imprinted on Emily Young, Leah's cousin."

"O God."

"Yep, Edward says it's as awkward as you can imagine. Especially when Leah started phasing. Apparently the pack's minds are linked when they are wolves."

I paused, cringing at the awkwardness that had to bring. After a moment, I asked, "Then what happened?"

"Nothing for a long time. Well, there was some drama between Edward, Bella, and Jacob, but Sam seemed to be fine. He was engaged to Emily, and our coven and his pack had an understanding."

I finished up my notes, and looked at them trying to understand. I was a little confused because I had no clue who this Bella and Jacob were, but they seemed to be a side note anyway.

It was obvious that phasing by himself and being alone for so long had affected Sam. Also, he might feel guilty about leaving his girlfriend Leah, especially since her dad died and she is a wolf now too. He was obviously under some stress about having a pack this large and being the oldest at only 19. But something about Sam's behavior still wasn't making any sense. This had been going on for months, why was he suicidal now. Normally there is some sort of trigger that prompts suicidal behavior. The phasing by himself could cause a depression that must be underlying all of this, but…

"Something set him off," I whispered to myself.

"Yeah," said Alice. "I'm getting to that. His fiancé, Emily, left him last week."


	3. Chapter 3: Faster

Ch 3: Faster

WC: 1184

"Wait. Why would she leave him?" I asked. Levi had explained what imprinting was to me. It was supposed to be some ultimate bond between a werewolf and their mate. He said that it could never be broken. That's why I left. Once he saw his imprint, I knew there was no hope for me and my wolf.

"No one knows," Alice said.

Suddenly, I felt the car start to slow down. Confused I glanced up at Alice, worried that something was wrong with the car. I looked at the gauges, and saw that we had plenty of gas and the engine was fine. But Alice's eyes were wide and her hands had the steering wheel in some sort of death grip. She was scarred. I wracked my brain for what could frighten my bold, fortune-telling cousin, but I kept drawing a blank. I looked around for some unforeseen danger, but only saw the same tree over and over again. I glanced back up Alice looking for a clue to what the danger was, and she kept glancing left and right.

"What is it?" I asked. If there was going to be some sort of fight, I was going to be ready it. Based on Alice's reaction, I assumed that the danger could somehow get to us even though we were in the car and still moving. I balled my hands up into a fist, and felt my eyes turn red. I figured with my "gift", if that's what you called it, and Alice's vision, we could fight our way out of anything.

"This is their territory," she whispered. "I've never been here before, and I'm not quite sure where I am."

I nodded my understanding, and relaxed my fists. With a quick blink, my eyes turned back to their natural brown hue. I looked down on my phone and pressed the home button to switch over to the GPS app. "What's the address?" I asked.

"Oh, I know well were going," she said. "I just can't see anymore."

"Huh? Need me to drive?"

"No, no. I can _see_. My physical vision is fine, but my visions of the future doesn't work around the werewolves. It is something about the way they are constantly shifting and being to unpredictable. My abilities don't work around them, and it makes me nervous."

"Oh," I said. "Well, they know that we are coming to help, so they are not going to attack us. If Billy wants us here then the pack will not go against the chiefs wishes. Also, it is not a trick. I trust Billy with my life."

"Yeah. I know," Alice gritted through her teeth.

I smiled, trying to stifle a laugh. My cousins did not like that I was so comfortable with werewolves. Edward must have told them about Levi and I during the composition of the Treaty. He had not approved of Levi and I when we were together, and it appears that Alice shared his sentiment. In fact, I was certain that none of the Cullens really understood my affection for the werewolf. At least Carlisle was understanding at least, saying as long as we were happy and safe. At least he had been civil. On the other hand, Edward and Emmett had constantly threatened Levi in Italian under their breath. I, of course, understood them and launched a few threats of my own if they did not stop. One time it had almost came to blows between Levi and Emmett, and if I had not been there I am positive a fight would have ensued.

I looked over again, this time glancing at the speedometer. We were still going about fifteen miles under the speed limit. Tapping my phone to wake it up I glanced at the time.

"Alice, I need to get there. It's almost seven, and I need to talk to the kid today if he is up for it. Can we go faster? "

"Yeah sure," she said. I felt the car accelerate a little, and soon we were going five miles over. I glanced at her and she held my eye contact. Pleading with my eyes, I smiled a little bit. Breathing slow, I knew I needed to be patient with her. Alice was literally driving blind in enemy territory, so she was already doing me a huge favor, and I knew better to push her. But still…

"Faster?" she asked.

"The quicker we are there the quicker I will let you leave," I said tempting her. "You can't help me with this part." 

I felt the car fly. "That did it," I thought with a smile. Soon the trees started flying past my window again, and I felt us getting closer to my destination. Soon the trees got more spaced out and there were small houses popping up. Alice took a few turns back and forth, and soon she turned onto a gravel road. At the end I saw Carlisle's black mercedes, Billy's Chevy, and several motorcycles which I assumed belong to the pack. We pulled up by Carlisle's car, and Alice parked.

I got out, and breathed in deep. The scent of werewolves did not bother me like it would a normal vampire, but it was still a different smell. The scent of woods and greenery filled my nostrils, as I left the cinnamon and vanilla scent of Alice's car.

I started to walk across the damp grass before I noticed that I was alone. Turning around, I saw that Alice was crouched down behind the steering wheel ready to jump at anything. Sighing, I walked around to the drivers side and motioned for her to roll down the window.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked her.

"Yep," she said quietly, never taking her eyes off the outline of a house behind the wall of cars.

I looked in that general direction, and realized that was were the werewolf scent was stronger. Sighing, I knew that she would not be of much help for the rest of the night if she was going to ask like this. If she could not see around the werewolves, then she could not give me some warning if the kid was going to get worse or better like I wanted to use her. I had a sick, possibly dangerous, werewolf on my hands, I did not need a vampire who was blind and paranoid too.

"Carlisle, Edward, and Jasper are all here," I said. "So I dont think Im gonna need you. You can go if you like."

"You sure?" She asked, her eyes neve moving.

"Yeah, positive. You have been a big help, Alice, thank you," I said. I reached in to grab her hand and gave it a squeeze.

She squeezed back, and her eyes glanced at me then back to the line of cars.

"Okay, thanks," she whispered, as she cranked the engine. I backed away as she rolled up the window, and the car speed away. Once it was out of sight, I headed toward the house behind the line of cars, prepared for anything.


	4. Chapter 4: Assessment

Chapter 4: Assessment

Walking out of the trees, I saw what looked to be like a tribal gathering. William Black was sitting at the bottom of the ramp to his house with a women his age standing behind him. I looked at the woman's face, but could not place her. Up on the porch a man with long gray hair sat nervously in a green and white lawn chair. He had his hands in his lap, and was wringing them together. Scattered in front of the house were several young teenagers. I could tell by their scent that these were the werewolves of the pack.

I started walking towards the screen slowly now, and a few of the teenagers looked up at me with suspicion. One of them stormed towards me. He was tall with an impressive build, wearing only cut off jean shorts. His eyes blazed with fury, but they looked red as if he had been crying. Watching him quiver from head to toe, I realized he was preparing to attack the vampire who would dare interrupt this horrible moment. Never taking my eyes off of him, I halted and backed away slowly while bringing my hands up in a surrender gesture.

"My name is Sierenna Ricci," I said. "William, I mean Billy, called me yesterday to ask for my help with Sam Uley. That is why I am here. I mean no harm to the pack or the tribe."

The kid's eyes narrowed at the sound of Sam's name, and did not move. Then another boy, looking almost identical, but with a rounder face walked up to us and put his hand on the first boy's shoulder.

"Hey man, relax. Billy said she was cool," said the second boy.

"Paul," yelled Billy from behind us, "she is alright. That is my friend I was telling you about."

It took a few seconds, but Paul slowly calmed down and dropped his guard. Tentatively, I walked past him and towards the crowd gathered on the porch. From behind me, I heard footsteps as the boys followed me, and one of them was breathing heavy. I sighed, this was going to be worse than I thought if they did not trust me to help.

As I approached the house, I saw there were a few human girls in the gathering. I stopped, and Paul and the other one walked past me, and returned to their spots beside a few of these girls. I looked at Billy his face lined with worry, but he smiled at me.

"Thank you for coming all this way, Sierenna. I know I am asking a huge favor," Billy said.

"And you know I would do anything for this pack. I will honor my vow to Levi," I stated, and then thought to myself darkly, "Even though it's a hollow vow now."

"What vow?" Paul asked.

"Not important," Billy said, with the command of chief behind his words. "Sierenna is here to help Sam, and we will let her."

Just then a woman in her fifties came out of the house wearing dark blue nursing scrubs. "Sierenna I assume," she said eyeing me.

"Yes ma'am," I said. "And may I assume you are Sue Clearwater?"

"Yes, I am," she said. "Carlisle is inside with Sam. We need you."

My eyes widened in surprise. "He is awake?" I asked.

"Yeah. He's a little groggy from the sedative, but he is up. Follow me," she said and turned back into the house.

I followed her inside the house, ignoring the angry looks from the werewolves. Apparently their fear for Sam outweighed their anger at my intrusion because none of them attacked me. I followed Sue through the door and into a small dark kitchen connected to a small, but better lit living room. In there I saw a large, but young man sitting down on the couch with a thermometer in his mouth. Carlisle was standing over him. Edward and Jasper were in the corner of the small living room, watching the boy meticulously. Sam looked like a man in his mid-twenties, and I would not have known he was nineteen unless Alice had told me.

The thermometer beeped, and Carlisle pulled it out of Sam's mouth. He glanced at it before he said to Sue, "110 degrees. Not really a fever, but we should keep an eye on it." Sue walked over to the counter and scrawled something down on a piece of paper on a clipboard.

"Sue, may I see that for a minute?" I asked.

"Sure," she said nervously and walked it over to hand it to me. I took the clipboard from her and glanced down at it. It was identical to a hospital chart, just everything was handwritten. I flipped through the pages where it said the medication administered, date, time, and dose. I saw that he had been given two different types of sedation. The first time was about an hour before Carlisle called me the first time, and the second was almost ten hours later.

"You gave the ketamine orally?" I asked

"No," answered Carlisle. "It was intramuscular. It was when he was hurting himself. Paul and Jared restrained him, and I administered."

I notice Sam flinch when he understood we were talking about the shot. I could see that this was a very painful memory for him.

"Is there a printer here?" I asked.

"Yeah, In the bedroom," Sue answered.

"If I email you an attachment, can you print it out? It's my notes I started on the way over here. They were fine to write on my phone, but that will be hard to read."

"Sure. I'm 'sclearwater '."

I found my notes on my phone, and taped the message icon. After typing out her address, I hit send. "Okay, it should be there," I said.

"It will take a second to print them out. But I will get them to you as fast as I can," she promised, than she walked into one of the bedrooms, and turned on the computer.

"Take your time," I said after her. I turned toward Sam, "Do you mind if I sit with you?"

He shook his head, and I walked over to sit on the couch. I crossed my legs, then turned my whole body so that I could face him. I took a deep breath and said, "My name is Sierenna Ricci. I am Carlisle's niece. I have a doctorate degree in Psychology from Princeton University, and I have been licensed by the State of New Jersey. Currently, I have a practice in Rome, Italy. I have treated humans, vampires, and werewolves. You don't have to hide you can tell me anything. Okay?"

Sam nodded sluggishly.

"Do you know why I am here, Sam?" I asked

"I tried to kill myself," he whispered.

"Can you tell me what's going on?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to hurt yourself right now?"

"Yes."

"Do you feel like you are going to?"

"No."

"Will you tell me if that changes?"

"Yes."

"When did you start feeling this way?" 

"Last week."

"What happened?"

"I dont know."

"Can you talk to me about Emily?"

Sam shuddered, and shook his head.

"Sam, I know this is painful and I am not trying to hurt you, but I need to know if you started feeling this way when Emily left?"

He shook his head for a moment, and began ringing his hands together. "It got worse when she left, yeah."

"It got worse?" I asked. "Do you remember when you started feeling suicidal?"

"When I started phasing two years ago," he whispered.


	5. Chapter 5: Planning

4

Chapter 5: Planning

WC: 1150

I took a deep breath and tried to keep my face blank. "Merda!" I thought to myself. "This kid has been depressed for years, and they are just telling me now?"

"Sam," I said calmly, "have you told anyone that you felt this way before today?"

"No. There is not really a good one to talk to. My mom would flip out, and Billy would not let me be Alpha."

"So, how did you keep this from the pack?"

"The pack can only hear the thoughts I am currently thinking. So I can keep my mind focused on something else so they don't hear how bad I felt. Sometimes something slips through. Jared was the second one to phase, and he heard about my suicide attempt. He wanted to tell Billy but I alpha ordered him not to tell anyone."

I looked at him for a minute as I tried to remember what Levi had said about an Alpha Order. Obviously it was an order the alpha gives but other than that I was drawing a blank.

"What is an alpha order? And why did it stop Jared from talking about it?"

Sam sighed, then said "It's a command where the alpha can tell the pack what to do and they have no choice but to obey. Jared was the only one who phased at the time, and I alpha ordered him not to think about it."

"You made it impossible for him to think about it?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you let them tell Billy?"

Sam wrapped his arms around his chest and shuddered. I grabbed a blanket off of the couch and offered it to him. Wordlessly, he took it and wrapped himself up. He stared down at the floor, looking away from me. When I realized he was trying to hide the fact that he was crying, I backed off and let him have his moment. Sometimes, being quiet and let them sort through what they are going to say was better than pushing them.

For a moment, all of us, Sam, Carlisle, Sue, and I sat silently in the night, with only Sam's sobs breaking the silence. I knew the kid needed this. If he had Alpha Ordered Jared to forget that Sam was suicidal then he had been putting on a show for a long time.

Finally, Sam whispered "I was scared of what they would do?"

"What do you think they would do?"

"Take me to some hospital and leave me there" he said angrily, his voice breaking.

I shook my head. This is what happens when society is intolerant of person with mental health issues. Kids lie to avoid going to the hospital because the hospital is a scary place for "crazy" people.

"Well, we can't take you to human hospital right now. But I promised no one is going to just leave you somewhere. Okay?"

"Okay" he said nodding.

I pulled out my tablet and turned it on. Opening the file I started in the car, I typed the date and time. "Sam, you are doing really good. I'm just gonna ask you a few more questions okay?"

He nodded.

"First, I'm gonna ask you to remember five words. Vase. House. Tiger. Camera. Teapot."

"Do you have any medical problems like high blood pressure or diabetes?"

"No"

"Have you ever been to a psychiatrist or seen a therapist?"

"No"

"Are you on any daily medication?"

"No."

"What is your sexual orientation?"

"Straight."

I typed a description of his appearance: Very tired, puffy eyed, red face, thin, pale, hands are shaking, hoarse voice.

"Do you ever see or hear things other people can't?"

"No"

"Do you ever want to hurt somebody?"

"No"

"Do you remember the words I told you?"

"Vase, Tiger, Camera, Train," he said, then after a minute he added "and something else."

"Close. I said Vase. House. Tiger. Camera. Teapot."

"Oh," he said defeatedly.

"Can you count backwards from 100 by 7?"

"100, 93, 86, 79, 72, 65, 58, 51-"

I put my hand up to stop him. "That's very good, Sam," I said. "You're doing great. Okay, I'm going to ask you some hard questions, but you can tell me the truth. How often do you think about suicide?"

"Everyday. It been all I can think about since Emily left."

"How intense are they?"

"They're really bad," he whispered.

"Why do you want to hurt yourself?"

"I'm a monster."

"Has anyone told you that?"

"No."

"Have you ever been abused?"

Sam paused. "You mean like hit?"

I nodded.

He waited a second, and looked down at his feet. "No," he said. "Dad never hit me."

I knew he was lying, and that broke my heart. "Sam," I said softly, "you can tell me. It's okay."

He took another deep breath and drew his knees up into his chest. "Mom would work late," he whispered, "and he would get drunk. He would knock me around and say it was my fault."

"What was your fault?"

"That he could not find a job. That we needed money."

"How old were you?"

"It started when I was four, and it happened whenever he was drunk, mad, and mom wasn't home. So it happened like once a month or so until he left when I was six."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"Leah knows, and so does Paul. But I ordered them not to tell anyone. I told them I was fine."

"Sam, your not fine," I said calmly, despite my heartbreak over the situation. "You have tried to kill yourself multiple times, and it is getting worse. You have been dealing with this for a while by yourself, and you can't anymore. You need help."

I let those words sink in, watching his expression. He seemed shaken up but calm, as he pulled the blanket up around him. I decided to continue saying, "I'm going to put you on suicide watch. Someone is going to be with you all the time to make sure you stay safe. We are going to alternate between Edward and Jasper being here watching you. If you want I can train some of the pack members, if that is easier for you."

Sam's bottom lip started to quiver as he nodded. Tears started to spill from his eyes, and he wiped his face with his left hand. Then a choked sob erupted from his mouth.

I looked at Edward, and thought to him "Get Billy!"

Edward ducked out of the room, and there was a low murmuring outside. Then Edward came back in with Billy rolling in behind him. As Edward moved out of the way, Billy came up to Sam and placed a hand on him.

"It's gonna be alright, son," Billy murmured to Sam.

Sue moved to put her arms around Sam so that she could hug him tight. We all stayed still, and let Sam cry.


	6. Chapter 6: Denial

Chapter 6: Denial

WC: 1408

Warning: Mention of Vomiting because Sam's hungover

Sue and Billy were sitting with Sam trying to calm him down. Edward, Carlisle, and I moved into the small kitchen to give them some privacy.

"I don't want to move him," I said to Carlisle.

"I agree. He will be safer here anyway."

"So we need to make this environment sterile," I said, looking around the room, noticing some knives, a bottle of wine, and I had a feeling there was some beer in the fridge. I went back into the living room and surveyed the room. There were some wires that connected to the TV, but none of them seemed long enough to be a danger. All the while I was listening to Sam's breathing. He had gotten upset enough to sound like he was hyperventilating, but now his breathing was more even. "Sam," I said and waited for him to look up at me. "We need to make this place safe for you. Can you tell me if you have any way to hurt yourself in the house?"

Sam whipped his eyes and cleared his throat, then said "I don't really know what you mean."

"Well, I was wondering if there was anything else I should know about like guns or knives."

"Oh. Um… I don't own a gun, but there are some knives in the kitchen and a razor in the bathroom."

"Okay, we are going to take them. We can give them back when you feel better."

I glanced at Edward and telepathically asked him to make the house safe for Sam. Quickly, he started whooshing through the house like a ghost. You could not even hear the cabinets opening, as he searched for the now dangerous household items. Then, he disappeared out of the house to hide them in the trunk of Carlisle's car.

When he returned, he nodded silently to me telling me the house was secure. Then, I turned to Sam and asked gently, "What about alcohol or drugs?" I remembered seeing the alcohol in the fridge but I wanted him to admit it.

"I don't do drugs," Sam said deadpanned.

I nodded, "What about drinking?"

"Im 19 so that's illegal," he said.

I knew that he was dodging the question, so I tried to be gentle with him."So is speeding. But Alice went about 90 all the way here from the airport," I said smiling.

His lips twisted upwards. "Okay, yeah. There is some beer in the fridge."

I smiled, glad that Sam trusted me enough to tell me that. He would never get anywhere if he did not start telling me the truth. I looked over to Edward, who vanished again, this time into the kitchen. I heard the refrigerator door open and some bottles clink around.

Suddenly, Billy cleared his throat and took his arm off of Sam. "When did have your first drink, Sam?" Billy asked.

Sam tensed, then looked at Billy like he had been accused of murder. He glanced down and started shuffling his feet. The room was quiet for a moment and then it came out in a rush, "It was kind of an accident really. I was 15, and it was some dumb Halloween party. Some senior put a beer in my hand, and started sipping on it. My mom picked me up and she almost killed me. I didn't drink until I left the house then. Now, occasionally I will buy a six-pack after work on Friday's. I never have more than two a night. Also if I drink, I never drive, Billy. I swear."

Billy laughed and put his hand out. "Its okay kid. I believe you," he said still chuckling.

I was wondering why Sam seemed to blurt that all out at once. Billy did not seem to be yelling at him, and no one accused him of drinking and driving. Then I remember that Billy's wife, Sarah, had died in a drunk driver accident. Of course, Billy would drill it into his kids' heads to never drink and drive. I realized he must have drilled it into Sam too.

Then Sue asked, "So you drink alone, Sam?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Drinking a lot by yourself and hiding it can be a symptom of alcohol addiction. Plus, alcohol is a CNS depressant. If you get drunk alone, you could get hurt."

"Oh," he said.

I was grateful that Sue had said that because she seemed to explain it well without being accusatory, which was hard for me. But, there is another reason why I didn't want Sam to drink alone. "Sam," I asked, "when you drink do you want to hurt yourself more?"

"Sometimes," he said quietly.

"Is that what happened this time?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, I need you to stop drinking for a while. I don't really care about the legality of the situation, 'cause none one of us our cops. But it's starting to be unsafe when you drink."

"I can handle it," Sam protested.

I fought really hard not to roll my eyes and scream. There was nothing about this situation that said that Sam was handling this. Breathing slowly through my mouth, I said carefully, "Sam, we talked about this, your not okay and you need some help, alright. So part of getting help is being honest with yourself and with us. You are not handling this well at all."

Sam looked down at his feet again and wrapped his arms around himself. "I was doing fine," he protested. "What the hell is wrong with me?!" he shouted suddenly getting to his feet. He wavered a little bit and pulled his hands up to his head, moaning.

"Sam, what's wrong?" asked Billy as Edward suddenly rushed out of the room again.

"Sick," Sam moaned.

"You gonna throw up?"

He nodded. By then, Edward was back with the bathroom trash can. Sam grabbed it barely in time to catch his stomach contents.

"Sit!" Sue said, as she moved Sam back to the couch. She sat down with him, and began to rub his back as Sam vomited again.

Carlisle came back into the room. "What happened?" he asked.

"Hungover I think," I said.

By then Sam had stopped vomiting.

"Here," Edward said, handing him a glass of water. Shakily, Sam grabbed the glass and brought it to his lips, drinking it greedily. Unfortunately, he drank it so fast he started choking.

"Slowly," Sue said.

"Are you hungover, Sam?" Billy asked.

"Uh-huh" Sam moaned.

I sighed. This was obviously way worse than we thought. When Sam had taken a few more sips of water, he seemed to calm down again.

"Feeling better?" I asked finally.

"Yeah," he said, but I figured it was a lie. If it wasn't so late I would try to get him to be honest. But he looked dead on his feet, and starting an argument over the necessity of honesty would not go anywhere.

"Okay," I said to the group. "Sam needs some rest, and I don't think we are going to get any further tonight. Edward, is he safe until morning?"

Edward stood very still, reading Sam's mind. "Yes," he said finally, "all he wants to do is sleep."

"Good. Can you and Carlisle get over her tomorrow? Or later today really?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, Buonanotte cugino."

"Buonanotte," he said and vanished from the room.

"Sam, where do you want to sleep?" I asked, turning to him. He had already stretched out on the couch and was snoring. "The couch it is."

"What about me?" Sue asked.

"You need some rest. Go home, and come over as soon as you can tomorrow. Wait, do you have to work?"

"I'll call in sick. Sam needs me," she said grabbing her purse off the kitchen counter. "See ya tomorrow morning."

"Good night, Sue," I said as she left.

"Billy, you need to go home," I said.

"No, I'll stay with you and the kid," he said. "He might wake up sober and attack you if I'm not here," he said chuckling.

"Yeah what are you gonna do about it?" I asked joking with him.

"Run over him with my chair, of course!" he said.

We both died laughing. Once we caught our breath, he asked "You gonna make it? I figured this would be hard on you. Him being related to Levi and all."

"I'm fine," I said cringing. I was just as bad as Sam.


	7. Chapter 7: Family

The sound of cabinets banging woke me up the next morning. Slowly, I blinked awake and sat got up. Unfortunately, my back was stiff from sleeping in the chair all night. There was another loud bang that sounded like a cabinet shutting, and I walked into the kitchen. Sam was there looking frantic, rummaging through the cabinets looking for something.

"Good morning," I said.

At the sound of my voice he straightened and turned around. "What? Who?" he asked.

"Im Sierenna from last night. Do you remember?" I asked.

"Um… No. Where is my stuff?"

"Sit down, Sam. Please," I said, motioning to the table. "Its okay. Sometimes sedatives can affect your memory. What do you remember?"

"Fighting the Cullens. The big one had me in a headlock and the doc jammed a needle in me," he said.

"That's right. Carlisle gave you a sedative that would calm you down. Then he called me, and I flew here and we had a talk last night."

"Right. With Billy and Sue," he said.

"Yes. Do you remember what we talked about?"

"Me, I think."

"Yes, We talked about you and how you were feeling. We decided that you had not felt good for a while, and you needed someone to look out for you right now/"

"I'm feeling better. I don't need anyone to look after me," he said defiantly.

"Sam, why did you attack the Cullens?"

Sam paused for a minute. "I don't remember," he whispered.

"Yes you do."

Sam was quiet for a while, then he whispered, "I wanted them to kill me."

Suddenly there was a noise outside that sounded like an owl hooting. Sam got up and walked outside. I huffed and followed him because we were not done with this there were eight half naked boys, five of them looking around Sam's age the other three were younger, and one girl. The younger boys tackled Sam to the ground laughing as they did so.

"Alright, off me!" Sam cried.

"NO!" Yelled the smallest one. "Not until you promise to never do this again!"

"Guys, you're heavy get off."

"NO!" They all yelled at once.

"Okay I promise. Let me up!"

The three boys got up off the ground, and Sam sat up. He was smiling, but then he wiped a tear from his eye. He pushed himself up off the ground and dusted himself off.

"Guys this is Sierenna," Sam said.

"It's nice to meet you all," I said.

One of the boys stepped up to me. "Hey, Im Jacob. This is my cousin Quil and my best fried Embery. You met Paul, and Jared last night. She's Leah," he said, gesturing to the girl, "and the pups are Seth, Collin, and Brady."

"We're not pups," Collin protested.

"Yeah we're fierce," Brady said.

"No doubt," I said with a smile. "It's nice to officially meet all of you."

"Billy said that you had experience with this pack before," Paul said.

"Yes. When the Cullens made the treaty with your ancestors, I was there" I said.

"Why?" asked Leah.

"They trusted me. I was a third party who could make sure the treaty was fair."

"Cool" said Seth.

"There is food inside," Sam said.

At the mention of food, all three of the younger ones ran in. Inside, you could hear the cupboards banging as the kids started to help themselves to Sam's food.

"Yall want to come in?" asked Sam gesturing towards the house.

"What the hell, Sam?" asked Leah.

"Leave him alone, Leah" said Paul.

"No, Its okay," said Sam. "I owe you guys an explanation. Honestly, I don't know. I sort of lost my head when Emily left. I'm sorry."

"That's bullshit," said Leah. "We know that you have been feeling suicidal for a while. Why didn't you tell anyone. What were you thinking? Why do you want to die?" She was crying by the last bit. "Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered.

"Lee-Lee," Sam said, walking over to her and putting his arm around her. "I'm fine. I swear."

"Billy said you wanted to hurt yourself for years. He said that it's getting really bad. Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell me?" She sobbed.

"I had hurt you so much that I thought you wanted me gone," Sam said.

I closed my eyes again. The depth of this kid had let himself deteriorate to was unbelievable. Why the hell had no one called me sooner?!

"Sam," Leah said. "I love you. I hate how much I love you because I had to see you with her and it killed me. But, I will always love you, and I would never want you to die."

"None of us want you to die, Sam" said Embery. "Your our brother. We love you."

"I love you guys too.. I'm sorry about this. I-"

"Dude," said Jacob. "Stop apologizing you have nothing to be sorry for. Okay."

"I guess no matter what happens, I will always have my pack." Sam said.

"Damn straight," said Jared.

They all laughed at the quiet one's outburst, and I smiled, glad Sam had a family to help him through this.


	8. Authors Note

This fanfic is officially dead. I struggle with depression and suicide thoughts and I can not continue it without endangering my health. However, I intend to write a new fiction that will feature Sierenna and the rest of the Ricci family along with the cast of Twilight. It will be a love story that will have a happy ending. Please stay tuned if that sounds interesting.


End file.
